Blending Your Online Self With Your In-Person Self

Do you ever feel like you’re one person online and a different person in real life?

Are you comfortable calling yourself a writer in a Facebook group or an Instagram post, but find that it’s a whole other thing to tell your neighbors? Or your family?

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has answered “yes” to those questions…

Many years ago, I self-published (although I had no idea what I was doing) a book about the spiritual lessons we learn while homeschooling our kids. I promoted it a bit online in the homeschooling groups I was involved in and sold a few copies.

One evening, I was at a local homeschool event and while in the restroom, another woman said, “Oh! You’re Amy Simon. I’ve read your book! I really liked it!”

I was caught totally off guard and felt so awkward. I didn’t know what to say! I think I mumbled a “thank you”, but I really don’t remember. It felt like such a strange collision of worlds - like when you see someone from church at the gym, or someone from work at a kid’s baseball game. I didn’t know how to meld them together. It was so much easier to be bold online than in person.

Another instance, several years later, I ran into someone I barely knew in the grocery store. She told me she read my blog regularly! I was getting more comfortable with talking to people in person about my writing and it didn’t feel quite as awkward, but it was still odd.

As I started trying to broaden my reach beyond Facebook and into Instagram, I ran into the issue that many of my neighbors and friends started seeing more of my writing posts. That felt weird, too. I had to ask myself, “Why?”

How do we perceive ourselves?

I think it has to do with how we perceive ourselves and how we think others perceive us. And the two are linked, especially for those of us who struggle with being concerned with how others see us (any other Enneagram 3s out there?).

I believed that others saw me as the frumpy stay at home mom who homeschools her kids - maybe a bit inferior to those who worked outside the home. For me to proclaim myself as a writer who had something to offer others felt a bit presumptuous.

Did they really see me that way? And even if they did, would it matter?

I suppose that all had more to do with how I perceived myself, rather than how others perceive me. Isn’t writing interesting how it brings things to the surface in our lives that sometimes have nothing to do with writing itself?

Let’s go there for a minute. How do you see yourself? How would you describe yourself? Which adjectives would you use if you’re being honest? Do you still feel like a kid, even when you’re well into adulthood?

We need to tread a fine line here and not venture into pride. But I think too often we use what we see as humility as an excuse to not live in who God has created us to be. On one side, we need to realize that all the gifts we have, our abilities, any message we have to offer someone else is only because of what God has given to us and done in our lives. Without Him, we would have nothing to offer. On the other hand, because we’re in Christ, the God of the Universe lives within us! He wants to live through us. We have something valuable to offer because we have Him! Humility doesn’t mean that we wallow in thinking of ourselves as the scum of the earth. Humility means that we acknowledge that anything we have is because of Jesus. But in Jesus, we are sons and daughters of the King of kings and Lord of lords!

How do you see yourself? I would encourage you to spend some time journaling about that. What is your identity based on? Your self-image? How you think others perceive you? How people in your past have perceived you? If you struggle to claim the title “writer” to your in person relationships, does it have to do with a struggle to claim your identity in Christ?

One of the other things I write about is a method of using journaling and spiritual disciplines to uncover lies that we believe about ourselves, God, or others, and replace those lies with truth from the Bible. How we view ourselves ties in to our identity in Christ. If you’re interested in what I call “BUILD” - the method of journaling and spiritual disciplines, you can find it here.

Reach your audience more effectively

Back to blending our in person and online selves… From a practical standpoint, when we’re trying to get our message out there of what we have to offer, it’s very helpful to try and reach people both in person and online. Depending on who your reader is, you might find much more success finding him or her while speaking at a church event, sharing your story at a support group, or leading a breakout session at a homeschool conference. If we can blend these sides of us and be the same person in real life that we are online, we can be far more effective at reaching our reader with the message God has given us. I know writers who have found great opportunities in hosting in person workshops and Bible studies. I’ve used public speaking opportunities at my church to get to know my readers and serve them.

So what can you do this week to blend your online life with your in person life and be more effective at reaching the people God has given you to serve? Will you tell someone in real life that you’re a writer? Maybe research some in real life groups who would benefit from what you have to offer? Or maybe spend some time journaling about why you might find it challenging to step into the title of “writer”.

Whatever you decide, I encourage you to be who God has created you to be, both online and off.