How to Manage the Inner Critic as a Writer

When we think about writing, usually we think about the act of opening up a Word document, or pulling out a notebook and paper and putting words on the page or screen. We might romanticize the whole process, and imagine hours spent in a coffee shop writing words of wisdom or holed up in a quaint cabin in the woods. We’ll decide what to write and then eloquently share it with our waiting audience.

If you’ve spent any time writing, you know that it doesn’t actually work that way. I have spent time writing in a coffee shop and I do have a friend who has an adorable writing cabin in the Michigan woods that she rents out to writers, although I’ve never used it myself. A more realistic picture is me sitting at my desk or kitchen table trying to keep writing even though I’m battling an inner war with my thoughts.

One of the players in that mind war is the inner critic, which is the voice in our heads that criticizes our writing, our ideas, our plans and goals, all of it. It says things like, “That’s a dumb idea. No one will want to read that. Everyone has already said that.” If we listen to this voice, especially too early in our writing process, it can put the brakes on what we’re doing, squash our creativity, and silence our message.

Here are some things to keep in mind about the inner critic:

1. Everyone hears this voice.

You’re not alone. Wrestling with this voice in your head doesn’t mean you’re not really a writer or that everything that voice says is true. It means you’re human.

2. It can be helpful, at the right time and in the right way.

The right time is NOT at the beginning of working on a project. When you’re brainstorming ideas or writing about new concepts, you need to ask that critic to take a seat. You need the freedom to try new things and explore options in a safe place.

3. Your critic is not the boss of you.

Your Holy Spirit-led self gets to call the shots and run the show. Imagine yourself sitting in a boardroom having a meeting. Your inner critic has a seat at the table, but is not running the meeting.

4. Your inner critic needs to be taught to be nice and to be specific.

If you have kids, you’ve probably had a situation where your child will come up to you and say something that might be true, but they aren’t saying it in a way that is helpful or kind. “This dinner is terrible!” What do we do when they’re rude or inappropriate? We help them learn to be kind and constructive. “Let’s try that again. How about, ‘Mom, thank you for the time you put into making this dinner tonight. I tried the brussel sprouts and they were too salty. Could you make a different vegetable next time or maybe wrap them in bacon?’” (Bacon wrapped is the ONLY way to eat Brussel sprouts, in my humble opinion.) Their feelings are legitimate, but they need some training in communicating in a way that is kind and constructive. In the same way, your inner critic may have some legit concerns, but it may need some training in how to be kind and constructive. Instead of “that’s a dumb idea” - make your critic reframe that. What exactly is the concern about the idea? Get specific. Vague and rude criticism isn’t helpful in the slightest.

5. Naming your inner critic might be helpful. We tend to think that our thoughts ARE us, but really, they’re only part of us. When we gain just a bit of distance from those thoughts, we can look at them more objectively and decide if they are true, kind, or helpful. When we give a name to their source, it helps us to gain a degree of separation and distinction from those thoughts. That’s not ME, it’s my inner critic, Ethyl, or whatever you might like to name her. Once we have some separation, we can be more objective and decide if what she’s saying is true, helpful, or kind.

6. Have a conversation with your inner critic. I prefer to do this on paper in my my journal. What is she actually complaining about? Force her to be specific in her objections. Sometimes, the voice of that inner critic sounds an awful lot like a parent, coach, or other person from our past who was overly critical. That might be something to explore. Instead, we want God’s voice bouncing around our heads, rather than that critical one.

How about you? Do you have any creative ways of managing your inner critic? I’d love to hear in the comments!

This post was inspired by episode #3 of the Purposeful Pen Podcast. If you’d like to listen, you can do so here.