Think about what you’re thinking…

What we think about affects how we feel, which in turn affects how we act. And yet I believe that we seldom think about what we’re thinking about.

What is going through your mind right now - beyond reading this blog post. What is the underlying narrative you’re telling yourself? It might not be completely audible, but rather just below the surface, like mood music at a department store. But if you’re feeling defeated, hopeless, frustrated, weary, anxious… there may be a message you’re thinking about that is feeding those emotions.

“I’ll never get all this done.”
“I let him down again.”
“I messed up again.”
“I have to keep going at this pace.”
“I’m not doing ______ right.”
“I can’t believe I don’t have this figured out already.”
“I should know better.”
“I should BE better.”
“I have to find all the answers NOW.”
“I have to prove my worth.”
“I’m not good enough.”

What if we take the time to try and write down what we’re actually telling ourselves?
Is what you’re thinking about true? Is it kind? Is it helpful? Is it what God thinks about you?
I use journaling to work through this because it’s so flexible - just a conversation with myself on paper.

I start with what I'm feeling:

- I’m feeling overwhelmed because I have all these decisions to make and I don’t know what to do.
- OK, what decisions do you have to make?
- (I list out my decisions)

I can then play coach to myself and prioritize which decisions need to be made first and which ones can wait. Many times, the decisions themselves aren’t that big of a deal - it’s the fact that they are still unmade that’s the problem.

I can also go another direction with my journaling…

-How do you feel about those decisions that are still unmade?
-It feels like everything is out of control and I’m paralyzed because I don’t know what to do next.

Have you ever noticed your inner middle schooler coming out? The one that exaggerates things into superlative statements like “everything is out of control” or “I don’t know how to do anything…”? 

Take a step back. Is that actually true? I doubt that “everything” is out of control, or that “nothing” is working, or that I don’t know how to do “anything”. Bring the adult you back into the room. What exactly feels out of control? What ISN’T out of control? What specifically do you not know what to do? What DO you know how to do? What isn’t working and what actually is working?

Many times, this process helps me to find perspective and peace again. It takes the overwhelming jumble in my head and gives me a tool to sort through it and makes sense of it.

Have you seen this work for you? What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?