3 Keys to Practicing Solitude
“Early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.” Mark 1:35
That’s great for Jesus, but we live in the 21st century. Things work differently now. I get up early enough as it is. Solitude? No way. Won’t work.
It’s easy to feel that way, I know! We look at the life of Jesus and think that there’s no way we can live like He did. After all, He lived in first century Middle East as a Jewish rabbi under Roman occupation. He walked around the countryside, homeless, preaching and healing people. It can be hard to find the 21st century application to His lifestyle!
However, are we called to try and copy His exact lifestyle? I don’t think so. When we accept Jesus as our Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to live within us. (Ephesians 1:13-14) God lives through us. So the question isn’t, “How can I copy Jesus’s lifestyle?” but rather, “How would Jesus live my life today?” What would it look like for Him to live in the 21st Century?
When we look at the practice of solitude, think about the underlying principle of what Jesus valued. He knew He needed time alone, away from all the busyness, to spend time with His Heavenly Father in prayer. If He needed that, then I certainly do! What my time alone looks like might be different, though. Let’s look at some creative ways to take Jesus’s practice and bring into our reality.
Does it have to be early?
Over the years, Christians have put early morning prayer time up on a pedestal as the “right” way or the “spiritual” way to spend time with God. There’s some Biblical basis in that - Jesus went out very early in the morning, according to the Mark passage above. Some Psalms talk about meeting with God in the morning. (Psalm 90:14, 46:5, 143:8) We also read stories of great Christians who got up before dawn to pray.
I can see there is a benefit to talking to God first before getting distracted by the day and doing all the things. But if you’re not a morning person or you’re a mom of young kids or you work second or third shift, that might not work for you.
Keep in mind that with both Jesus and many of the historical “great Christians”, they lived before electricity and probably went to bed much earlier than we do today.
When does it make sense for you?
The thing with creating habits, which is really what we’re doing here, is that the easier it is to incorporate into our lives, the more likely we are to follow through and be consistent. With spiritual practices, the point is consistency. If you look at your schedule and decide that in order for it to be worth it to practice solitude, you have to set your alarm for 4am after going to bed at 11pm, how likely is that to become a consistent practice for you? You might do it once or twice, then give up altogether because you can’t do it. Then you’re back where you started - not practicing it at all.
How about instead, try to find reasonable periods of time in your day where you can implement some solitude without reworking your entire life? You’re much more likely to follow through if you start small. It can always grow from there.
Here are some suggestions for when and where to practice solitude:
In the shower
In the car on the way to work - turn off the radio
Take a walk alone during your lunch break
Take an evening walk alone
Step outside or into your car for a few minutes during a break time
OK, I’m alone. Now what?
We’re so used to being surrounded by people and activity that when we finally get alone and quiet it can be hard to figure out what to do!
Breathe. Nothing weird and mystical, just take a few deep breaths. When I struggle with anxiety, I’m amazed at how far a few deep, slow breaths go in helping me to relax.
Relax your shoulders, or whatever part of you usually carries tension.
Thank God for His presence with you. Recognize that He is with you, sitting next to you in your car, standing with you on your deck, walking with you through the neighborhood. Use your imagination and imagine Him with you.
Talk to Him about what’s on your mind. Pray about the things that concern you or that you’re happy about. Praise Him for His ability and desire to handle those things for you. Lay your worries at His feet.
You could read some Scripture, too, if you’re not driving. ;)
Then just be still. Quiet. Listen. Ask Him to speak to you.
Remember that the more simple you keep it, the more likely you are to be consistent. The goal is to practice making space for God in our everyday lives and connect with Him.
How about you? Have you practiced solitude? What worked well and what didn’t?