Walking While Waiting
I hate waiting. I mean really, who doesn’t? Waiting for the water to boil, for the Amazon package to come, waiting for the test results, waiting to see what the virus will do and how churches and schools will manage… It’s never fun. We want to know - now!
My teen son came to me the other day and said, “But I just want to know what’s going to happen…” Well, don’t we all? We actually never know in advance what’s going to happen, we only *think* we do. Now in the season of Covid, we realize experientially that we don’t know so many things about the future. It has simply helped us realize what has always been true. If we want to know the future, we have to wait until we get there.
I like planning. I find it fun and exciting. I think it also gives me a sense of control over the future. I don’t have control of so many things, of course, but it helps me think that I do. I also like to be prepared and have an idea what I plan to do.
Then came Covid.
When everything first shut down in March, I found it very stressful. Life looked different on a daily basis. New things were canceled and closed every day. Policies and guidelines were changing every hour, it seemed. After I while I got into a new groove and the down time was actually kind of nice.
Now things are opening back up and some of those same feelings of instability are coming back. What will the fall look like? We homeschool our kids, so we aren’t directly impacted by what the public schools decide to do, but our oldest son was hoping to take AP physics at the local high school - no idea if that will work. Also, I lead our local homeschool co op which meets in a church. Will the church let us meet? What Covid policies will we need to have in place? What happens if someone gets sick? The planner in me wants to get it all figured out, but there simply are no answers right now. We need to wait and let the church figure things out. Wait and see what the schools will do. Wait and see what the infection numbers do.
One thing I’ve found to be helpful during times of waiting is to find something else productive to do. Yes, there are things I can’t do because those answers aren’t available yet. But what CAN I do while I wait? Every day is an opportunity to love God and love others. I don’t need to wait to do that. I can either sit around stressing over what I can’t figure out right now, or I can immerse myself in serving God and those around me on a day to day basis. I’m trying to be more comfortable with “I don’t know - we’ll see what happens. Now what’s on the docket for today?”
Are you waiting? Rather than become stressed and frustrated, what can you immerse yourself in that would both take your mind off the “not knowing” part and be a useful, productive use of your time? I don’t think waiting has to mean standing still. It could just mean walking one step at a time without being able to see what the entire path looks like. God will illuminate more of it once you get there.