Tripping Over Our Insecurity

Many things in life can cause us to trip in our relationships with God and others. If life is walking a path, these obstacles are like tree roots and rocks on that path that if we’re not careful, we’ll stub our toes or worse, fall flat on our faces. Insecurity is one of those rocks in the path for some of us. It can keep us from reaching out and having healthy friendships with others. It can keep us from pursuing His plan for our lives and the gifts and abilities He’s given us.

Growing up, I was very insecure. Not so much in my abilities, but in my relationships. I did well in school, got good grades and excelled in music, but people were a little harder to deal with. I was socially awkward and I still cringe at some of the outfits I wore (don’t we all?). I didn’t feel like I could just walk up to a group of peers and join in their conversation. 

As an adult, I’ve gradually grown more comfortable and confident with relationships but I sometimes feel insecure about my abilities. It’s hard to stand out and look good (I’m an Enneagram 3…) and I fall victim to “imposter syndrome”. Who am I to be writing this book or this blog? Who am I to lead this Bible study? To speak at a conference? I’m not good enough, not ready, not qualified enough. I don’t have everything figured out.

Gideon’s insecurity

In thinking about insecurity this week, the Bible story of Gideon came to mind. One thing I love about the Bible is that it’s full of very real people. Not perfect people who do everything right and follow God without fault. It’s full of people like Gideon. His story is found in Judges 6-8. 

The Israelites were having all kinds of problems with the Midianites. They were raiding the Israelites’ land and stealing their crops and livestock. No one seemed to be able to do anything about it.

The story opens with Gideon threshing wheat in a winepress out of fear. I don’t know a lot about ancient farming practices, but I do know that wheat threshing is messy business. It’s usually done on a hill because you shake the wheat stalks to separate the wheat from the chaff. When you do it on a hill, the wind can help by blowing away the lighter weight chaff.

A wine press is where you put the grapes you’ve harvested and crush them into wine. I doubt you would want to have wheat anywhere near the winepress. Wouldn’t you get little pieces of wheat and chaff in your wine the next time you used the winepress for it’s rightful purpose? That doesn’t sound very appetizing…

Anyway, he was dealing with his wheat there because he was afraid of the Midianites. Threshing his wheat out in the open on a hill would make him a likely target to get the wheat stolen. Some people knock him for that, but was he being a chicken or just being smart? I suppose there’s a fine line between the two sometimes. 

An Unusual Visitor and an Out of Place Greeting

While he’s threshing his wheat in the winepress, the angel of the LORD shows up! This might be a regular angel (is there such a thing?) or the pre-incarnate Christ. A few verses later (6:14), this individual is referred to as the LORD, so I would lean toward the second option. Regardless, most other times in the Bible that angels and especially God Himself arrive on the scene, the humans are totally freaked out and afraid. I don’t know exactly what angels look like - definitely not chubby babies with wings. Every other place I’ve read about them, people somehow KNOW they’re angels and they’re quite nervous! (My personal preference is the depiction of angels in one of the more recent TV Bible series where they look like a cross between a Jedi and a ninja. That’s how I imagine angels!)

This angel shows up and says, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior!” Gideon doesn’t fall on his face or tremble in fear.

He whines.

I don’t know if he didn’t recognize this angel as an angel or what, but he doesn’t respond the way you’d expect. He ignores the “mighty warrior” part, which we’ll talk about in a minute, and just whines about how if God is with them, why is all this bad stuff happening? He doubted God’s presence because of his circumstances.

Ouch. Sound familiar? I’ve certainly been there. 

The angel doesn’t smite him for whining, but rather tells him to go in the strength that he has and save the Israelites from their enemies. Take what you have and use it. God is sending you. I love that! Take what you’ve got - maybe a couple loaves and fish - and bring it to God. You obviously don’t have a lot of strength if you’re whining at God to His face, but take that and use it in God’s service. He goes with us. 

Then he whines some more! “But God, I suck. I’m a nobody. I can’t do that.” (My personal paraphrase.)

The angel continues to reassure him that they’ll do it together, but Gideon still doubts him and asks for a sign. God didn’t knock him for it - He gave him what he asked for. He prepared an offering and it was consumed by fire. That makes Gideon suddenly wake up and realize what was going on.

A Title Based on the Present or the Future?

Back to the initial greeting - the angel called Gideon a “mighty warrior”. Gideon was certainly not acting like a mighty warrior at that moment. He was scared and not doing anything about the Midianites other than hiding his wheat from them and complaining to an angel about the whole scenario. But God called Gideon a mighty warrior because that’s what he was to become. That title wasn’t based on Gideon’s accomplishments, his credentials or his abilities. A mighty warrior was what Gideon was going to become in God’s strength.

A Job That Challenged His Relationship with Dad

Next, God gave him a job. He was asked to tear down his father’s false idols (an Asherah pole and an altar to Baal), build a proper altar to God and to sacrifice his father’s bull on that altar. 

Wait, time out.

His father has two altars to false gods? That’s a no-no. That sort of idol worship is one of the reasons that God has allowed the Midianites to torment the Israelites to begin with. And he has to kill his father’s bull. The story teller in me makes me wonder what kind of relationship Gideon had with his father. I’m assuming he should have permission before killing his father’s 7 year old bull. I’m also guessing if his father had put up the altars to false gods that he wouldn’t be happy about his son tearing them down without talking to him first… Would that be like an adult son taking his father’s Metallica records and smashing them without talking to him first? There might be some interesting discussions afterwards! We aren’t told how old Gideon is, but I’ve always assumed he was an adult. He says he’s the least in his family, so he’s probably the youngest, working on the family farm. 

Gideon does what God told him to do, but he was “afraid of his family and the men of the town” (Judges 6:27) so he and his servants did it at night rather than during the day. The next morning, the men of the town were indeed quite angry and wanted to kill Gideon, but his father actually stood up for him. 

There’s much more to the story, but that’s for another day. What can we learn so far about insecurity? 

Insecurity comes from misplacing our fear.

Gideon was insecure and fearful of the Midianites, of his own family and of the people of the town. Initially, he didn’t fear God or the angel. He was more interested in whining about his circumstances than standing up for what was right. 

Once God got Gideon’s attention by burning up his offering on the rock (Judges 6:20-23), then he properly feared God. He obeyed God by tearing down the pagan altars, but still feared his family and the townspeople.

We are told to fear God above all else. Insecurity for us comes from fearing what others will think, whether it’s family members, friends, or society in general.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge…” (Proverbs 1:7)

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28)

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,” (Deuteronomy 10:12)

It doesn’t matter what others think of us - it only matters what God thinks of us.

Insecurity comes from misplacing our identity

God called Gideon a mighty warrior before he had done anything to warrant that title. We need to see ourselves as God sees us. Who are you in Christ? You are loved, valued, precious, and set apart. No matter what you have done in the past, if you have trusted Christ as your Savior, you are a new creation! (2 Corinthians 5:17) You aren’t perfect, but God is and He goes with you.

Insecurity comes from misplacing our focus

Gideon was focused on himself and his qualifications, or lack thereof, when looking at what God was asking him to do. We do the same thing. I’m not qualified. I’m not good enough. I’m not ready. It’s all about the “I”.

No, I’m not qualified, but God is.

I’m not good enough, but God is.

I’m not ready, but God is. And when God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)

If you struggle with insecurity, take a look at who you’re fearing, what you believe about your identity and where you are focusing your attention.