What’s your relationship with money?
“It’s complicated”…
My pastor asked this recently and I had to stop and think about it. Certain issues can have a lot of “below the surface” baggage, and money is definitely one of them. If you’re married, what percentage of your arguments with your spouse are over money? How much do we earn? What do we spend it on? How much (if any) do we give away? Do we save? Do we go into debt? If so, under which circumstances? For most of us, I’m guessing our relationship status with money falls into the “it’s complicated” category.
If you’re walking through the BUILD process, maybe you’ve notice during your time of reflection that you have been getting anxious every time a bill comes in the mail, or when the dollar amount at the grocery store is higher than you’d like. Maybe there have been arguments with spouse over it.
Look at your emotions
Take some time to “Be Aware” of what emotions surface when it comes to money. Anxiety is a common one. Does money make you anxious? Get specific - what aspect of money makes you anxious? Is it medical bills? The grocery bills? Are you worried that you won’t have enough? We tend to assume that’s the issue - concern over having enough money - but I think it can be more complicated than that. Do you have enough money but just don’t like spending it? Do you worry about wasting it? Are you concerned about people taking advantage of you over it?
Maybe you don’t get anxious about it, but you spend it as a means of comfort or to reduce depression.
I’m not here to give tips on budgeting or staying out of debt. I’m more looking at what’s beneath the surface as it relates to money.
Does money make you feel inept? Incapable of managing it properly?
Take some time to journal about your emotions as they relate to money.
Where are the lies?
Once you’re aware of where there might be an issue, let’s look at uncovering any lies connected to money.
What did you learn about money from your family of origin? Was it a source of tension between your parents? Did your family struggle to make ends meet? Or were money and possessions flaunted as status symbols to friends and relatives? Was money wasted frivolously or hoarded?
Here are some lies about money that we might have learned…
Money brings me security and safety. (Nope - God does.)
Money must be accumulated and hoarded so I can protect myself. (Saving is wise, but God is our protector.)
Money is a source of pride and status. (Yes, but our identity needs to be in Christ.)
If I just earn enough money, I’ll be happy. (Won’t work. Solomon tried and failed.)
I should do whatever I can to earn more money. (Again, be wise, but always put God first.)
Money is bad and it’s more godly to be poor. (This is not in the Bible.)
Truth: Money isn’t evil. It’s morally neutral. Money is meant to serve us and for us to use to serve God. Earning money isn’t bad. Money just makes a very poor master.
1 Timothy 6:10 “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”
Loving money is wrong and gets us into all sort of trouble. We are to love God above all else.
1 Timothy 6:17 says, “Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy.”
Again, being rich isn’t condemned, but being arrogant and finding our hope in wealth rather than in God. God is our provider and “richly provides us with all things to enjoy”.
The Bible also talks about the importance of being generous.
2 Corinthians 9:7 “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
When we give, it reminds us that God is the source of our provision.
The book of Proverbs talks about the importance of a good work ethic and the problems with going into debt:
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Proverbs 10:4
“The rich rule over the poor, And the borrower is slave to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7
What does money represent to you? Security? Significance? Stability? Success? Freedom? What lies about money have you incorporated into your life? And how can you replace them with truth from God’s Word?