Say No So You Can Say Yes

When you look at your schedule for the day or for the week or month, how does it make you feel? Excited? Panicked? Depressed? Are you looking forward to what’s there?

Obviously we all have responsibilities that may not bring us joy and happiness. Everything can’t be fun and exciting. But if our schedules are so jam packed with things that maybe aren’t ours to do then our planners are going to feel like black holes wanting to suck us into the depths. 

We’ve been talking about all this negative stuff and how to say no. It’s hard to say no, but necessary if we don’t want our lives run roughshod over by the rest of the world. 

The upside to all this is that we get to say a definitive YES to the things that God is calling us to say yes to.

Giving a Cheerful Yes

Second Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each of you should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Paul is talking to the church about giving financially. Decide ahead of time what you’re going to give and then do so cheerfully. Don’t let anyone bully you into giving more. 

Even though this is talking about money, I believe the same concept applies to giving our time and energy. Decide ahead of time what you will say yes to and then do that cheerfully - not reluctantly because someone guilted you into it. 

Maybe you love to cook and would like to serve on the church’s meal train list. You’ve said no to enough other things and freed up the time to make an extra meal when it’s needed. How often can you do that cheerfully? You might need to set a limit on how often you’ll serve. Once a week? Once a month? Or maybe you’ll decide to set aside one Saturday a month to make several freezer meals just for the purpose of having them ready to go when someone has a baby or needs surgery. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to cheerfully say yes. 

Or maybe you want to commit to being in a group Bible study, or to spending more time in prayer. Do you want to invest in a hidden talent of yours to use it for God’s glory? What would you say ‘yes’ to right now if you could clear some time in your schedule? 

Create margin to say yes to the unexpected

There are times, of course, when things come up unexpectedly and someone needs help that wasn’t in the plan and is truly a burden of theirs that you can help them carry. It might inconvenience us or take time away from other things we’ve said yes to. If it’s truly a burden, help them. Jesus calls us to go out of our way to help those in need.

Think of the Good Samaritan. I’m sure it wasn’t in his plan to help the man who had been robbed and beaten. His help was an inconvenience, both in his time and his energy and money. I’m sure he hadn’t decided ahead of time that he would get into the “helping-those-who-have-been-robbed-and-beaten-and-left-to-die” ministry. It was just a situation that arose unexpectedly.

If our schedules are so busy with things that we really haven’t been called by God to do, then we won’t have any margin in our lives to help in those situations that arise out of nowhere. If we’re always pressed for time and running late, we won’t even notice the person lying by the side of the road. There will be no way that we can give an elderly friend a ride to a doctor’s appointment or help a neighbor move something or be a listening ear to someone who is lonely or depressed. Having healthy boundaries can create margin in our lives and enable us to serve others better. 

Saying Yes to Keeping Ourselves Healthy

As I mentioned in my instagram post this week, life is a marathon, not a sprint. We need to take care of ourselves if we’re not going to burn out. It’s not selfish to guard some time in our days and weeks to maintain our own emotional and spiritual health. 

Taking time to do what refreshes us, whatever that might be, helps us to serve God and others better and over a longer term. When we allow ourselves to be so busy and don’t allow time to take care of ourselves, it’s counter-productive. 

“But I can’t take time for myself - I’m too busy helping everyone else!” You won’t be of much use to anyone else if your stress and exhaustion land you sick, crabby or worse. 

Set aside time to keep yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy. Everyone will be better for it!

What for you are the advantages of saying no so that you can say yes?